Held

I have had this song by Natalie Grant running through my mind for days now.  Its a beautiful song called Held  that talks about a mother losing her 2 month old son.   Of course this song strikes a cord with me because I lost Olivia but also because of the message it sends.  When the horrible unthinkable things happen in our life and we cant possibly understand why God would do something like that to us.  I mean doesnt being a Christian mean that life is going to be easy for us?  God has our back so he wont let anything bad happen to us right?  That was never his promise to us.  I didnt realize that until the past 2 years.  God always answers our prayers, but not always the way that we want.  But who are we to know what is really what we need.  God designed us. He knows us.  The one thing he did promise is that he would be there with us every step of the way if we let him.  I decided early  in my pregnancy that I would give the control to God and that his will would be done. I did the same thing with my mom's cancer.  A lot of people didnt understand how I could be so calm and at peace about the diagnosis for Olivia. First she is my daugther and nothing would make me love her any less.  I mean would you love your child less because her or she was diagnosed with cancer or some other type of medical condition?  No you wouldn't.  Down Syndrome was a part of her and I loved her.  It never crossed my mind to think she wasnt normal. That is the peace that having faith in God does for you.  I knew that whatever happened he had my back.